• Strictly Films

Weekly Roundup Episode 37: Fake Beef is Lame


Welcome to another edition of Weekly Roundup! Ya know while watching the last film discussed on this Weekly Roundup, it does bring back a tale about a young man, whom wanted to receive attention to being someone he’s clearly not.

Back when I was rapper by the name of Mitchy Mitch, there was this young man I would say my age. This young man tweeted me every now and then, enjoying my rap videos as he wanted to make music with me. Yes this young man wanted to be a rapper, as he had a few songs on his YouTube as well. So one day this rapper sends me a song, which was titled “MITCH” all caps. I listened to it as I was like, “Oh cool someone dedicated a song to me, far out dude mad respect.” The rapper was surprised that I complimented his little song, why was he surprised?! Well time went by as I realized it was a diss track... I wasn’t bother by it because I don’t who the hell this dude was, so who cares.

Well this rapper was not so happy that I didn’t take him seriously, so one day he harassed me all day long. I remember this day because I was getting my ears pierced... Man I miss pierced ear Mitch, looked adorable. Well anyways the rapper was non stop harassing me, for every little thing I tweeted that day, as he called my decision of wanting to get my ears pierced “Looking Like a Typical Douche White Boy”.

I was annoyed then as you can clearly tell by my following tweets, but then he follows up with a DM, wanting me to go along with it. Yes this wannabe rapper who keeps on harassing me for no particular reason, just wanted to create a Fake Rap Beef, so people can give him attention, like the hundreds of people give me. Of course I ignored his request because why would I?! Dude harasses me and expects me to go, “Oh sure buddy, I’ll help your struggling music career take off.” To top it off: This dude was harassing my crush at the time as well, so that maybe I could then take part of his little act... What a weirdo. I ended up blocking him, I mean sheesh the dude needed to get a life than obsessing over wanting to be a rap star, while also being oddly fascinated with myself.

To tell another story since it does kind of involved this rapper: Another dude whom was into rap or wanted make music I don’t know, randomly harasses me for putting out bars, that benefited men to stop using women for sex. Now the lyrics were indeed corny I will say... But does that deserve harassment?! No. Then one night this dude again harasses me, as I was just minding my own business making stupid vines. Now I’ve always been a believer to ignore any kind hatred or negativity, responding by only positivity and kindness... But I also believe at some point, you should stand up for yourself.

So the harassment got out of hand, to the point where I said, “Alright Ima end this dude.” This dude was dating my sisters friend, who was attracted to me. So I placed my target, shot this man with a reply “You’re just jealous at the fact your girl wants to date me and can’t keep her satisfied” and BOOM! MAN DOWN! This man lost it entirely, like he couldn’t come back after that knowing this was the truth. The man wanted to team up with the rapper, as he wanted to create a diss track to end me... They never did, as the rapper wasn’t about that life. His girlfriend later apologize to me for his actions, as she clarified her feelings for me were no more, as I accepted the apology. So two lessons: 1. Gain Attention by Being Yourself, Don’t Be Something You’re Not, It’s Embarrassing. 2. Don’t mess with Da Don... I take no L’s. Alright let’s talk about movies!

Bill and Ted Face the Music Grade: D


Bill and Ted franchise somehow gets a trilogy... Feels almost as deserving as the Cars franchise earning a trilogy. My opinion the first couple films: Bill and Ted’s Excellent Journey is enjoyably decent, Bill and Ted’s Bogus Journey is lousy. It’s worth noting that even though I think Bill and Ted’s Bogus Journey is kind of stupid, however there is some charm especially towards the message at the very end.


Bill and Ted Face the Music in comparison to the other two... Man oh man was this a freaking miserable experience. First off: It’s amazing how in 2020, visually speaking that in comparison to the other first two films, that this looks absolutely WORST. From a film making perspective, to how it’s shot, and especially the visual effects... It felt like an amateur did all this. It’s one of the most ugliest looking films I’ve seen all year and especially from a franchise, watching those special effects were extremely poor as all it felt extremely fake. Say what you want about the first two films, but at least those two films creates some significant movie magic involved. In this... It’s blatantly obvious that this is all fake, like my God all this advanced technology we have and you can’t make it look good?! It’s embarrassing.


I think the one of the rare things I actually enjoyed out of this film, was Bill (Alex Winter) and Teds (Keanu Reeves) kids all grown up performances played by Samara Weaving and Bridgette Lundy-Paine. I think both of those performances were solid, as they resembled their fathers mannerisms and I think scenes in which they’re in are the best part of the film. The rest of the cast I thought was freaking awful. We understand Alex Winter and Keanu Reeves are no longer young groovy Cali men... But watching them in this new film was extremely disappointing. The once beloved goofy charm and chemistry these boys once had is no longer there, as you can tell these characters are passed their time as they should’ve left it to rest years ago.

The story at hand though could possibly have a meaningful message, however fails to execute not only a meaningful message but however display a story worth being interested. The story is painfully bad, as I tend to be asking myself a few times, “When is this dog shit gonna end?” Worth noting the comedy material in this is atrocious, I think I laughed once and it was the beginning scene, where Bill and Ted played at a wedding. Other than that the comedy material can be compared to paint drying, this is what happens when you make an unnecessary sequel that consists of stereotyping young Californians: You can’t come up with anything.


Overall, Bill and Ted Face the Music is bad. I don’t recommend this film at all.


Spontaneous Grade: B


It’s honestly crazy just how accurate Spontaneous is to the current Covid situation, only the situation in what goes on in this small local town’s school is far far far far worst than Covid. A lot of critics liked this film, but what drawn me interest is the fact Charlie Plummer was in this, as he has a solid track record of good films. Mr. Plummer appears to have another one under his belt, as this was an enjoyable Romantic Comedy Disaster film.


The story itself displays a traditional romantic comedy story, only it’s actually original and also worth noting there is a fair amount of meaning, regarding how we go on about life knowing not every day is promised. The chemistry between Charlie Plummer and Katherine Langford were top notch, a believable odd ball romantic couple that were a couple caring individuals, although display some crafty sarcastic dark humor. What’s good about both characters were the fact they sounded like real teenagers, rather than displaying an inaccurate look consisting of stupid social media junkies. They have real problems, real feelings, and felt like real human beings as well.


Romance aspect was sweet and adorable, as the comedy material was indeed solid and effective. A few jokes don’t land here and there, but a handful of jokes were executed well as I found myself chuckling a few times. I think the film does die down in the third act just a bit, however it does pick itself up displaying it’s meaningful message. The message insists that even though a terrible occurrence regarding a terrible situation, shouldn’t mean your life should take a pause just because of it. In the end: Not everyday is promised, there are thousands of other ways you can die, so don’t waste another second being scared all the time, as you live life to the fullest... Wow, I see no lies detected here.

Overall, Spontaneous is a solid film. I recommend checking this out, who knows maybe you’ll decide to get out of the house and start living again.


Critical Thinking Grade: B


Critical Thinking can be compared to the likes of Freedom Writers: A School Teacher helping a group of troubled individuals in a less fortunate community, take on a much better path way towards success and out of the streets.


This is a nice feel good based on a true story kind of film. Though I wish more of the characters were developed and explored than just Ito (Jorge Lendeborg) and Sedrick (Corwin Tuggles), however I felt majority of the characters were enjoyable to watch. Especially the chess teacher Mario (John Leguizamo) in which in a way represents a nice father figure or even a wise uncle figure to the young boys, who understands their everyday struggles.


Flaws with Critical Thinking come from the display of the chess matches, as they weren’t as exciting as I hope they would be. You sometimes are unaware just how important these matches are, as the film making lacks any sense of tensity as it feels like a regular chess match.

Overall, Critical Thinking is a good film. I recommend checking this one out.


I’m Thinking of Ending Things Grade: B-


If your familiar with Charlie Kaufman, you would know he’s one of the most visionary directors working today. Surprising with only two directed films consisting of Synecdoche New York and Anomalisa, he’s still widely recognized for those two films. Also worth noting Kaufman was apart of the Oscar winning writing team of Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, along with being apart of the writing team of two Oscar nominated films Being John Malkovich and Adaptation, so he is a gifted writer.


I’m Thinking of Ending Things follows the trend of Kaufman’s style, as you clearly tell this felt like one of his pictures. The writing is in this can appear dark and relatable towards the highest degree, regarding human emotion, aging, and of course suicide tendencies. The first act was indeed the strongest aspect, as the dialogue and the conversations between our main characters Jake (Jesse Plemons) and Young Woman (Jesse Buckley) were truly engaging towards a high degree. I also enjoyed the scenes involving the Mother (Toni Collette) and Father (David Thewlis), thought those were oddly funny while also showing a very sad realistic look, what is bound to happen to our parents over the course of life.


The third act is what I call “Kaufman’d”, he has this tendency to get carried away with his world building, as it distracts what it was mainly going for in the first place. In Synecdoche New York the world building fits just fine there, as it’s centered around a perfectionist. In this film... It lost me entirely, as well as it just doesn’t work here. Before this ever happened things were looking good for the most part, yes the drive back home was a bit confusing, however it was way more interesting and was on par with the story, than whatever the hell happened at the school. This is the second time in which Kaufman for the most part is delivering a good story, however got carried away in whatever nonsense he was trying to pull off with his world building, it’s the same problem I have with Anomalisa.


Though I didn’t care for the third act: At least this is a recommendable film this time around, there is quite a few admirable aspects towards it. The writing is well done in the first couple acts, the performances are pretty good, I liked how the film looked visually as well. But that third act for me... It really disappointed me compared to the other two acts.


Overall, I’m Thinking of Ending Things is a decent film. I recommend checking this one out, I would say it’s not for everyone, but it’s worth a watch.

The Life Ahead Grade: B


Ah the ole troubled young boy, whom made trouble with an elderly person, will now pay the price as he will be looked after by that elderly person, as they will develop a connection... Sounds familiar to the Hey Arnold Episode Harold The Butcher.


I liked The Life Ahead, has a fairly written story that provides emotional value. Momo (Ibrahima Gueye) is a solid protagonist, as he lost both his parents at a young age, which now makes him a troubled orphan that needs genuine love or else he’ll be heading towards the wrong path of dealing drugs. Though Momo’s first impression from Madame Rosa (Sophia Loren) went off to a bad start, through time they developed a fair connection Momo needed to bring himself back on the right track of life. The chemistry between the actors were solid, performances were solid, as it was an emotionally touching display of friendship. I also liked how this story avoided cliches we’ve seen time and time again, especially with Momo and the whole drug dealing side plot.


One standout flaw with The Life Ahead is I thought the special effects done on the tiger, was done horribly. You can clearly tell it’s fake, there is also consistency issues that comes along with it, as it comes about every now and then. I understand Momo’s supervision wasn’t proper, as Madame Rosa clearly is extremely old and can’t keep up with Momo’s whereabouts. What I don’t understand is how Momo was able to manage to have an enormous bike, yet no one dares to question where he got it from?! They question how Momo was able to acquire a phone, but nobody questioned that giant bike?!


Overall, The Life Ahead was a solid film. I recommend checking this one out, can be found on Netflix.

69: The Saga of Danny Hernandez Grade: B


I honestly didn’t know this documentary was happening, till I saw it reviewed on the Roger Ebert website. Worth noting also this comes from the same studio, that brought us last years Everybody’s Everything featuring the rap artist Lil Peep, which happened to be the best theater experience of last year.

Before this documentary I know little about the rapper 6ix9ine, he’s definitely a trending topic in mostly Social Media and it’s not because of his below mediocre music, it’s more of the fact he’s wild. This documentary was informative as I’ve learned a great amount from it, as it clears some details up as I have to say: Wow, what a troubled fraud this kid is. 6ix9ine is a clear portrayal as how social media, but also shows how some celebrities showcased in media can really make a poor impact on younger individuals trying to discover themselves. This is a common trend I’ve been seeing a lot, where once the nicest kids you would ever meet, suddenly become entirely different due to exposure. Like the things I’m currently witnessing from those I went to school with... What the hell happened?!


But as I clearly have seen from this documentary: Majority of these people that fall in line with 6ix9ine, is all just an act. The substance of this film reveals just how 6ix9ine manipulated and used a ton of individuals, all for the sake of fame, as it’s honestly very shameful. He’s nothing more than a troll whom got lucky to where he is, but I will say... He does provide entertainment, in which in some case young individuals and even some adults in their twenties stretching thirties can’t get enough of. I mean at first when he was starting off with his ridiculous stunts, I honestly was laughing because it was kind of funny. But after awhile it just gets old after awhile, but more so becomes hard to watch as you honestly can’t stand this individual at all. I wish 6ix9ine would’ve partaken in meeting up with the film maker, would’ve liked to hear him counter with the countless of those featured in this, whom all seem to be on board with the fact this guy is nothing but garbage.


The film making could’ve been better, compared to Everybody’s Everything I think it just wasn’t on par in terms of style. It’s going be interesting to see what others think of 6ix9ine after watching this documentary, should turn many heads away.

Overall, 69: The Saga of Danny Hernandez was a solid documentary. I recommend checking this one out on HULU, I can’t wait till you all watch this one scene, where a rapper claims oral sex made him go Cuckoo... I’m still laughing how ridiculous that bar was, just to promote HULU. -Mitch Smietana

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