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Weekly Roundup Episode 21: Happy BornDay Charles Hill

Welcome to another edition of Weekly Roundup! The story of a beloved friendship begins, where one criticized one’s top Drake songs of 2013 list before the anticipation of Nothing was the Same... I bet Charles doesn’t even remember this lol. I’ve been Charles Hill’s friend since 2013. Through this seven year friendship, I’ve only seen brighter days through this long journey called Life. When it comes to music, Charles is one of the best to go to, getting the proper insight of what’s good in music, as he’s open to all forms of music. When it comes to advice on life, Charles wisdom always carries through any troubled soul, trying to make the most of what could be a difficult life for them, as he helped me a couple times in the past.

If you were to describe Charles Hill in one saying, he would be best described as “The Life of the Party.” This man can make a Khalid concert, feel like you’re at Coachella for crying out loud. I’ve had a great amount of fun with Charles whether it be concerts, movies, bowling, at a bar, or even randomly seeing each other at a Denny’s parking lot... You’ll never have a dull moment with this individual.

When it comes to loyalty, that is one of Charles’ best qualities. Word to Kanye, “We’ll be brothers forever, what happens to one of us happens to us together.” He’ll always have your back through thick and thin, no matter what. When it comes to a conversation about anything, Charles makes it feel so easy to do so. I can talk about almost anything with Charles, I treasure all the conversations we’ve had together. I’m proud of my dear friend/brother Charles Hill for all he has done for me, as the same can be said to anybody that has come across his way. I’m grateful to have a close look at the amount of progression this young man has made over the years.

Happy BornDay to my brother Charles Hill. I wish you a blessed year, as well as many blessings wherever your life may take you moving forward. Do check out his podcast ZolemanTV on YouTube, his newest episode t’was very good and has powerful moments as well. Will always support you no matter what, as you have supported me, God Bless my G. Alrighty let’s talk about some films!

Aquaslash Grade: D

Speaking of birthdays, you know what horror film is the life of the party?! Look no further, here comes the newest horror classic on the block: AQUASLASH!! This horror film has everything you would ever want out of a party.

Starting with the opening sequence, where we’re introduced to a condom advertisement. Both sides of the attractive couple, pulled out a condom of their own as it concludes with “DOUBLE TROUBLE!” An excellent start, as the film teaches us the importance of safe sex over unwanted pregnancy, very inspiring. Now we’re introduced to the high school grads, as their DOWN TO PARTY AT THIS WATER PARK! Yes these high school grads are down to get TURNT B A B Y. Including cocaine, speed, ecstasy, and of course the booze. You would think the park owner and staff at hand, would condone such action at a family community water park... HELL NO B A B Y, THEY LET THIS PARTY RIDE UNTIL THEY LITERALLY CAN’T NO MORE! This film doesn’t cater to just the kids of this generation whom just want to party, it also caters by our lovely parents. It features a rock n roll band, whom play songs dedicated to the 80’s, so theres something for everyone! Unfortunately for those old farts, their fun of listening to classic 80’s music is shut down by the youth... As one graduate decides to send everyone a band members sex tape they had with a water park staff member... How did they get this footage? NO ONE KNOWS!

Aquaslash brings the audience a party of a lifetime, but also offers a great amount of terrifying scenes. Including an epic killing spree montage, featuring just a water slide, with large razor blades! How on earth is this possible to accomplish?! I have one answer in mind: SHUT UP AND LET THE PARTY RIDE B A B Y!!! I have to thank the Flixster movie app, whom showed me a random image of this films existence, without it I may have never heard of it. When I thought this was going to be a Friday the 13th knockoff, it turned out to be a certainly certified horror gem I certainly will never forget.

All jokes aside: This is horror film is terrible and honestly majority of it makes no sense. But I’m going to be completely honest with you: This is the best dumpster fire I’ve seen all year long, compared to the likes of A Fall From Grace. It’s hilarious and gives us non stop entertainment for seventy minutes. I’m calling it right now: THIS IS THE ANSWER TO HAPPINESS, DURING THIS TIME OF SADNESS.

Overall, Aquaslash is bad yet extremely enjoyable in all the worst ways possible. Hell yeah I’m recommending this film, get friends together and have a grand time B A B Y!

My Spy Grade: D+

“I DON’T WANT TO GO TO SCHOOL, I JUST WANT TO BREAK THE RULES!” Try hearing that same lyric line almost a hundred times, while partaking in the over played out My Spy trailer. This new “kids” film was suppose to be in theaters back in early January, then early spring, as it now gets dumped on Amazon Prime. My first thought on the trailer is “Wow, it’s The Rock’s Game Plan all over again.” It is just that: A man whom is talented in his profession, but is extremely selfish and can’t handle having different emotions, as he gets his life turned around by a little girl.

The reason why I didn’t feel as this film was worth it’s own review, is due to the fact it’s completely bland for my taste. I will say at least Dave Bautista’s character JJ has a developed arc, even though it’s a cliche we’ve seen thousands of times before. As well as there are a few nice touching moments here and there.

But what we’re left with in My Spy, is a kids film that doesn’t cater to kids nor adults. The sense of humor of this film is dreadful, as I probably chuckled once or twice, but majority of the jokes can be flat out embarrassing at times. The jokes tries to please both adults and kids, but it doesn’t necessarily work at all. I can see not only adults not laugh, but kids be drooling boredom. I gotta say the supporting characters in this film is beyond annoying and sometimes don’t make much sense, when a plot twist is revealed. For example JJ’s side kick Bobbi (Kristen Schaal), whom happens to be a tech nerd... Every time she’s on screen it makes me want to turn off my television. She’s so freaking annoying, as I believe she is the Achilles heel to making this film at least average. There is a plot twist revealed, with the neighbors, as this reveal makes absolutely no sense. Even so: It made me not want to give this film a reasonable mediocre grading. My Spy is exactly what it is: A cliche that exists, only to be forgotten as years go by, as it’ll be buried in the $4 bin at Walmart.

Overall, My Spy is crap. I don’t recommend this film at all, just watch The Game Plan.

After Midnight Grade: C+

A creature horror, romance, comedy film?! One word to describe After Midnight: Strange. I will say After Midnight isn’t half bad. If you have a difficult time figuring out what this was all about, I don’t know how you could miss it, on the count it basically slaps you across the face. Basically the horror element has more to do with Hank (Jeremy Gardner) letting his love go. She was the one for Hank, as the idea of her slipping through his hands haunts the living hell out of him, which explains why he’s visited by an unknown creature. Pretty much simplifies what one’s heart goes through when they lose somebody they love, as only if Hank would just move on from his comfort zone from his bland ole house and life.

Though one may argue the scene in the third act, where Hank and Abby (Brea Grant) talking is a very drawn out scene. However it does help impact the romance side of the film, as we come to learn as to why Hank lost Abby in the first place, as she would like Hank to explore new adventures rather than staying in one place forever. I felt tone wise it could’ve been a little more consistent and taken itself seriously, as the comedic element didn’t really work at all. The third act would’ve been better off without the creature, but I understand the audience would’ve complain, as to why the creature just disappears all of a sudden?! Although in my opinion the monster just represents what’s going on in Hanks mind/heart, so I felt the monsters appearance in the third act would’ve been best if it never came back, as Hank’s heart is back to being full.

Overall, After Midnight is a perfectly average film. I would give this film a chance, but be warned it’s not for everyone, it’s definitely a weird one I must say.

The Rest of Us Grade: B

Cat owners I got a question for y’all: Do you atomically forget the existence of your car after the cat passes away, once a family member dies?! Don’t hate me, the cat owners in this film forgot all about their cat, once the father/husband passed away.

The Rest of Us is a simple story about grief and also how nobody is perfect, no matter the luxury of their life. Whether you’re a successful author, a college gal, a child, or a mother... We all struggle with problems of our own in some way. You can also say this film wants the audience to know, that you should be accountable for your own life, rather than depending on others. Rachel (Jodi Balfour) being the perfect example, as once her husband passed away... She was done financially, as she lost everything. There is no shame in marrying somebody with wealth, but one shouldn’t solely depend on them only, as one should try and take care of themselves as well. Ya never know: Life happens. Also found the acting to be solid all around by the cast.

This film runs by pretty quick as it’s solely around seventy five minutes, so of course my issues being some side plots weren’t properly developed. I also sense lack of strong dialogue as well, this film could’ve easily been bumped up if the conversations between characters were actually deep. But for what The Rest of Us is, I gotta say: It works out ay ok with me as a whole.

Overall, The Rest of Us is a solid flick. I recommend checking this one out, it can be found on Hoopla and if you don’t have access to Hoopla due to not having a library card, it’ll be out on HULU next month. While partaking this film, my body felt like I was in a sauna as I started to have trouble breathing. It was due to the fact I was extremely hungry, as I didn’t eat much due to helping my mother with her work duties. Note to self: EAT! -Mitch Smietana

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