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The Curse of La Llorona: Jump Scare 5 is dreadfully lazy and boring Grade: D

Updated: Apr 30, 2019

Source: IMDB

The Conjuring is one of my favorite horror films, truly loved that film and even saw it twice at the theaters which I hardly ever do with movies. With the success of The Conjuring, came the birth of The Conjuring universe, a series of films where not much is change other than the demons name. With the success of the Marvel universe, it makes sense why other franchises want to make an attempt. The Conjuring universe is an success for the wrong reasons, while it makes a great profit, critically and even from the audience they are not received well other than the first two Conjuring films and mixed from Annabelle Creation. Here comes Jump Scare 5 aka The Curse La Llorona. Tells a story of a Mexican demon folk tale La Llorona, also known as The Weeping Woman. Her intentions is to basically murder children, it was used for kids to not misbehave their parents or else La Llorona will come and take the kids away from their families. Takes place in LA, where social worker Anna Tate-Garcia (Linda Cardellini) interferes with Patrica (Patricia Velasquez) luring LA Llorona away from her children, as this caused her children to later on die. Now Anna and her family are in serious danger, as La Llorona is now haunting her kids and Anna as she hopes to kill her children in due time. The Cinematography was alright, I guess I enjoyed the pool shot with the umbrella as it seemed like the only redeemable shot, everything else looked basically the same as the other films. Also some shots were blurry too. The Score was whatever, pretty much the same stock music we've heard from the other films in the universe. I thought the performances were... Not that good. I guess Patricia Velasquez was fine, I bought into her character so I'll give her credit. I like Linda Cardellini as an actress, from her upcoming days in Freaks and Geeks to her latest performance in Best Picture winner Green Book, she's a likable actress. In this film she's bad, I didn't believe she was naturally scared, when shown scenes of emotion she wasn't up to par, her screams were bad too, not Linda's best. All the child acting was awful, didn't like one single child performance in this film. Tony Amendola playing the cliche horror priest character was alright, the character itself wasn't useful as it's clearly just exposition and nothing more. How about our comedic relief "Ta Da" demon killer Raymond Cruz... How lame was he?! His character is almost as bad as the story is, like he was trying to be funny and never was, his performance was pretty bad too, like just eliminate the demon and go away will ya? A positive I can say is that what I wanted from this film actually happened in Act 3, but it was executed poorly... At least they did what I asked. I'm very picky when it comes to horror films due to the fact I don't find anything scary, as I look for a great crafted story or well executed disturbing content. You know what happened when I finished watching this film?! I felt tired, like I wanted to take a nap, it was a waste of time watching this. When we are introduced to the short opening, I knew I was in for a rude awakening because it was completely terrible, I honestly laughed at the opening of this film it's so freaking lame. Then we are introduced to the main family, which they just recreated the same introduction from The Conjuring just about only they aren't moving items inside the house this time around. Did you like that scene of the kid pretending to be a cop like his dead dad?! Didn't that make you cry or feel something? No it felt pretty cliche and random? Ok. In the scene where the social worker finds the kids in the locked closet, why didn't the kids try to defend their mother?! They just stood their not scared nor freighten at all, you'd think if the kids were locked in a closet, they would be terrified nor shrieking in fear?! Just strange. Like I said earlier: This film does nothing new, they are just recreating the same exact movie all over again only with a new demon name. The story was just boring to me, nothing about it sparked my eye of interest once. Jump scares have reached in the double digits in this film, where they are easily predictable as hell, they've become so lame and lazy over time that you come to the conclusion of hating yourself while watching this. I felt the concept of this Weeping Woman story was used poorly as well, like when described it becomes very laughable cause I can't take this as being scary. Even so when described, it's not even used correctly. Like this random white and Mexican family get cursed for no apparent reason, like earlier it says the kids whom misbehave their parents beware of LaLlorona... At least do that at least because the kids were pretty sweet to their mother. But nah it's just a mad Mexican woman applying a curse on this family speaking in Spanish as the woman has no idea what’s she’s saying or doing... How original?! As Chris Stuckmann has said this film could've been better if relocated and I agree, this should've been at least a little exciting, but instead it's kind of boring. When you have a horror gimmick that has gone completely stale as it's no longer interesting or scary, your left with a dull horror film filled with lazy jump scares, that's exactly what this film is. Who do we blame for another unnecessary jump scare film?! The audience, the theater was packed for this film we've seen dozen of times before, a great film like Missing Link couldn't even buy 5 seats the other week, how embarrassing?! Overall, The Curse of La Llorona sucked. I don't recommend this film, stop supporting bad repetitive horror films for Gods sakes. Pretty soon Jump Scare 6 aka Annabelle Comes Home will be out... Help us Lord, please help us. -Mitch Smietana

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