The Addams Family (2019): A Film Discussion Grade: D+
Hello everyone, today we are going to start a thought revoking discussion on a recent kids film I just watched. It was Halloween night at Town Scary, where thousands of kids and adults were in costumes. Kids were ready to trick or treat and receive candy from your local retail shops, while adults were ready to club upstairs. What shenanigans was I up to, you might ask?! A simple statement is only required to hear: No Days Off. Yes I was working on Halloween night, ready to watch another movie after watching a solid film called Harriet. I ate my free large birthday popcorn which was extremely stale, as I just got my free birthday large fruit punch Powerade ready to go for the next film. I selected a 9:10 P.M. showing, preferably suitable for the holiday night... The Addams Family (2019). Here I thought I was going to be watching a fun harmless kids film, turned out to be much more than I was expecting. While nerds on the internet deliver five page theories on what that tasteless The Lighthouse film was about, I seek an opportunity to deliver my theory on this kids film that many have turned away because... Perhaps they aren’t woke for this film?! If you thought The Addams Family (2019) was just a basic kids film, that the selling points were to be released during the Halloween season, to make money off of kids and families. Providing food options from companies to profit off of. Including spooky purple pancakes, milkshakes, and scary cherry ICEE! Though none of these products are even edible to eat/drink, while delivering false advertisement to the real thing oh boy you thought WRONG BUDDY! The Addams Family (2019) is a film much deeper than you think, it simply is delivering social commentary between the on going battle Liberals vs Republicans... Duh Duh.... DUNNNNNNN! So whom are the Liberals of this story and whom are the Republicans?! The Republicans are The Addams Family, the Liberals are the regular folks outside The Addams Family home. Wait a minute: How can the Addams Family be the protagonist of this story, if their Republicans?! What has current society have been showing us the last few years?! If you’re a Republican, you are a complete evil person, completely abnormal to society and shall be banished from the world you live in. In the opening minutes Gomez (Oscar Isaac) and Morticia (Charlize Theron) are gathered for a marriage ceremony. It may look odd due to the fact their putting the lime in the coconut during the process of getting married, but heck love is love right?! The townspeople banished the couple from the town because they looked weird to society and didn’t completely agree on their views... Like how Liberals treat your average Republicans... Coincidence?! I think NOT! If you thought that was coincidental, wait until you start diving into the Liberals mind control analysis. When The Addams Family comes to town, we hear the townspeople singing a song. What could be a poorly written children’s song, turns out to be much more intense if you deeply think about it for a minute. The lyrics read, “Why be yourself, when you can be like everyone else?” What does those words actually mean?! Doesn’t it remind you of the Liberals agenda in our current society? They want you to think exactly like them, any different views or opinions.... YOU’RE CANCELED! The Liberals don’t want people to be themselves, it’s very degrading to see anyone be any different to the slightest, it would be much more comfortable if everyone was just like them... SPOOKY! What is one tool in this world, where children and man children can be easily manipulated to believe any information that tool is on?! TWITTER, the Liberals most loved social media device in the world. In this film the beloved Social Media tool is called The Neighborhood Watch, something similar to that I reckon. When our main antagonist Margaux (Allison Janney) or better known as MEGA LIBERAL SNOWFLAKE. Early on Mega Liberal Snowflake wanted to remodel The Addams Family’s home because she wants to profit off her show and the home didn’t look “Normal” to society, the Addams Family deny her request. Do you know what happens when you deny a Liberal?! They go NUTS, just like Mega Liberal Snowflake does in the film. You know what she does, when The Addams Family steps out of their home and comfort zone?! She spreads lies about them... ON SOCIAL MEDIA! The townspeople quickly believes in everything it has to say about The Addams Family on the app, because people will believe anything on that app... Like how society believes anything that is on Twitter, despite more than half of the time it’s either an over exaggerated headline requesting clicks or it’s completely false... Shaking are Ye? Here’s the scariest part of this entire film, you ready?! No you’re not ready, here we GO! Mega Liberal Snowflake has a secret underground lair, where she has multiple TV screens. A lair and TV screens?! What’s so scary about that?! You know what’s on those TV screens?! FOOTAGE OF NORMAL PEOPLE IN THEIR HOME, WHERE HIDDEN CAMERAS ARE INVADING THEIR PRIVACY! Holy smokes! Is this a metaphor of what the next phase for Liberals want to achieve in the future?! It could be! I mean we’ve seen the signs already, this is becoming more frightening by the minute. The Liberals can’t handle people having different views and opinions than them out in public... What makes you think they can handle people having different views and opinions when they’re in their own home?! Oh boy The Addams Family (2019)?! More like 2019: A Political Odyssey, am I rite?! You’re probably thinking there is no happy ending towards this movie. It turns out: There is. The film ends with a beautiful conclusion, that makes viewers jump out of their seat in joy. When Mega Liberal Snowflake almost destroys the Addams Family home due to reasons earlier as discussed, as gathers an angry delusional mob with her. She is defeated by the Addams Family, thank God she is defeated by the Addams Family. As you can see the townspeople get a good look at The Addams Family, with no phone in sight, as it turns out... The townspeople start to feel bad for how they treated The Addams Family in the past. They realize they’re just a normal family, they may look strange out in public, but they aren’t so different than them. The film is trying to say: Stop believing in everything you see on Twitter, put the phone down, and experience life yourself, that’s where you get the real answers. The townspeople discovered the truth about The Addams Family, as they turn their back on Mega Liberal Snowflake for the lies she told. The film doesn’t stop their with their powerful message, it gets better. The Addams Family quickly forgives Mega Liberal Snowflake, as they become friends. The film is trying to say: We can all accept each other for who we are, despite we have differences, we can all still be friends. The answer for the solution to our problems is simply: Love. Man who would’ve thought The Addams Family (2019) out of all films in the world, would spark up a discussion like this?! They say animation is just for kids... HAH!
Alright now that I’ve gotten that out of the way, it’s time for my real thoughts on the film. Listen I’ve never seen the previous live action films, but I gotta say... Boy this disappointed me big time. This honestly felt like an Illumination film: Animation is mediocre, the story is whatever, characters besides Uncle Fester (Nick Kroll) were easily forgettable and uninteresting nor entertaining. I didn’t feel like giving a full review on this, as I wanted to make a parody review because... There’s nothing much to talk about it, other than being a below mediocre kids movie, this was a complete bummer. Overall, The Addams Family (2019) was a crappy kids film. I don’t recommend watching this film, kids themselves will be bored of it too. Hope you all enjoy this thing I wrote... I sure laughed a lot. Before I end this review, keep in mind: I don’t like politics, I just like the humor of it all and how people take it this seriously. Happy Halloween! -Mitch Smietana