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The Addams Family 2; Grade: F

August 2021 was a time in which we question humanity around us. Here we have two animated films coming up on the first of October, where the theme was centered around Halloween. Those films are: Hotel Transylvania: Transformania the fourth film in the franchise and The Addams Family 2. Critically The Hotel Transylvania franchise has improved within each film and has a fairly strong audience appeal to them. While The Addams Family critically about the same with the first Hotel Transylvania film, however the audience appeal… Not so much. Financially speaking Hotel Transylvania has ranged a box office total of 148-167 mill domestically within each entry, while The Addams Family only made 100 mill. So given that information: The obvious choice with regards to which film should be considered a theatrical release, it has to be Hotel Transylvania. It has the critical appeal, the audience appeal, and is more financially successful than The Addams Family.

Instead: The complete opposite happens. Hotel Transylvania was bought out by Amazon on a massive deal, so it can be released straight to it’s streaming platform, while The Addams Family 2 gets a theatrical and V.O.D release. Why couldn’t Hotel Transylvania be considered the theatrical and V.O.D. release?! There’s really no clear explanation given the fact it’s much more successful and superior compared to The Addams Family. Given the history of humanity often times the wrong decision is picked over the right decision…. And OH BOY, WAS THIS A WRONG DECISION!

So The Addams Family 2 is centered around a family vacation, as no trailer is needed because the poster design speaks for itself. In the beginning there was a genuine chuckle delivered, as it featured Wednesday (Chloe Grace Mortez) whom wiped the floor at the school science fair, not receiving an award because the school decided there shall be no losers and everyone will be given participation ribbons instead, everyone is a winner. Regarding this day and age of sensitivity: This comedic joke was fine, it delivered a chuckle as I said, “You know what?! Maybe I could be wrong, this movie won’t be a waste of my time.” Unfortunately… I spoke too soon, as that chuckle would be the only and last time I would seek any enjoyment from watching this abomination of a film.

The Addams Family 2 is dealing with multiple plot lines. We have the plot line of The Addams Family taking a family vacation, to bring the family much closer again. We also have a plot line centering around the conflict, in which Wednesday may not even be an actual member of The Addams Family at all, as there is a possibility of her being switched at birth. We also have a plot line of Wednesday’s brother Pugsley (Javon “Wanna” Walton) learning how to communicate with girls, so hopefully he can have a chance to date them. And who can forget we also have ANOTHER plot line, of Uncle Fester (Nick Kroll) slowly transforming into an octopus, due to an experiment done on him earlier at the Science fair. If you’re wondering: What exactly are all these plot lines competing for?! One could say either one of these plot lines are hoping to achieve laughter, excitement, or to make the audience invest in any of these plot lines… However each and every plot line immensely fails at doing any of that.

The Addams Family taking a vacation plot line has been done thousands of times before, it’s a common cliche as we can only hope we can endure an experience we’ve never seen before. Does this family vacation deliver an experience worth of excitement, creativity, and laughter?! Absolutely not, in fact this is the least creative vacation idea I’ve ever seen given the fact you have an abnormal scary looking family. The places they go or I guess attempt to go does not at least make you feel excitement and you can also say… Where is the backbone in delivering some kind of spooky atmosphere?! All the places they go to are way too bright, colorful, and are just common regular day places… Where is the fun in that?!

The conflict around Wednesday possibly not being an Addam maybe the only plot line that could’ve worked, however the plot line itself made the audience not care at all. Given the fact Wednesday isn’t much of an appealing nor interesting character, it doesn’t make me feel as if her being an Addam or not being an Addam wouldn’t make much of a difference in my life. If she’s an Addam then ok, if she’s not… Ok?! There’s no concern whatsoever because the character itself doesn’t make you care, her family isn’t holding her back of what she wants to be or to achieve her true potential, so why should I care if she should be in the right family or not?!

The Pugsley plot line… Where is the development with regards to Pugsley having an interest in talking to girls?! The opening featured Pugsley improving a volcano science project, then after the theme song… Now Uncle Fester is rambling about wanting to help Pugsley talk to girls, through his relationship advice book… SO IS THERE AN ACTUAL REASON WHY PUGSLEY WANTS TO DATE OR NOT?!?! You can tell the writers themselves are not interested at all, due to failing at given a significant reason just how this plot line was brought up in the first place. The whole Pugsley plot line is torture, there’s nothing funny nor entertaining about it, it’s just a bunch of utter nonsense.

The Uncle Fester plot line… God Help Us All. I don’t understand why this is even a plot line to begin with, all it is was to create some laughs yet it’s just a completely dull and dumb Segway that no one cares about.

I’ve never seen any of the original Addams Family properties from before, but if I was a fan of anything before this… More than likely I would be outraged and offended by this. This is one of the most laziest, least interesting, least entertaining, least creative from an animation standpoint, and least funniest animated films I’ve seen in awhile. Everything is utterly atrocious, the situations within themselves is completely dull and embarrassing, plus every single character is GARBAGE.

I was so happy when my bladder decided it needed to use the bathroom, as it gave me the excuse to escape the theater for a good moment. This film is not only torture for me, but as I’m sitting in a theater with a fellow adult and a family of three… There is absolutely no sound at all. No one in the theater seemed to be having a good time with the film they were watching, the kids weren’t laughing at all or had no desire to express any verbal joy… Pure silence as it felt extremely lifeless, which makes sense because this film is lifeless.

Apparently this film was made probably in 2020, because somehow… There are jokes that relate to the freaking pain in the ass of March 2020. We got a hand bathing in hand sanitizer, to those that question “Well that doesn’t mean it was referring to that, it could be a gag for something else” well I thought that too… Until the biker bar scene.

In this scene a biker offered to give a hug to Wednesday, as Wednesday refused the hug and said to the biker, “I’ve been social distancing since birth”... OH FUCKING HELL! This movie is torture enough, now we have to endure a lazy 2020 Pain in the Ass joke?! Speaking of which: Why is this even in a kids movie?! Kids should be distracted from the horrors of 2020, not be reminded of it. Who would find this funny?! The only people I could think “Well maybe they would find this joke funny” is couples going around public wearing a face mask and taking a picture of themselves, pressing their faces together like they’re in a kissing position… Since you wanted to go there with 2020 humor, let’s go there then.

I have to ask those couples: If you’re too afraid to kiss your significant other without a face mask on out in public, why the hell are you dating that person in the first place?! If you’re so damn concern or afraid of catching this pain in the ass from your significant other, then by all means you’re better off single because the chances of you encountering the pain in the ass are less likely if you’re single. If my significant other was too afraid to kiss me out in public without a mask on, then I don’t see the point in continuing on a relationship in which fear is in control of our relationship. Love conquers all, God is on our side… Fear becomes nonexistent. I don’t care how bad the ting is: You’ll never see me wearing a face mask out in public, posing a kiss while we have our masks on… If that day were to happen, put my ass in a mental institute because something is wrong.

Now where was I?! Oh yeah: At that moment, I just had to pack my bags and leave the theater… I couldn’t take this torture anymore. We’ve come to criticize Illumination Animation for their animated films, but The Addams Family 2 encourages us to display an apology for that company. This film is torturous for everyone, not only parents, but heck kids as well… I’ve witnessed it myself.

Overall, The Addams Family 2 is the worst film I’ve seen all year. I don’t recommend this film, everyone in Hollywood should be ashamed of themselves allowing this in a theater over Hotel Transylvania. -Mitch Smietana

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