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Space Jam: A New Legacy; 50 Minutes of Pure Torture. Grade: F

Before we start: This was originally suppose to be included on the weekly roundup, but unfortunately I written more than I thought I would so… Here we are.

For many years there has been a fair amount of anticipation by basketball fans, that LeBron James would helm a Space Jam movie of his own, like all time great Michael Jordan did with Space Jam. You would constantly see fake movie posters of LeBron’s face with Bugs Bunny over and over again, here in 2021… LeBron James is the face of Space Jam: A New Legacy. LeBron was thoroughly excited to bring fans of the film, fans of basketball, and moviegoers on what he likes to call “His World” or “His Creation”.

I used to be a LeBron James fan, but ever since he won the championship for the Cavs he’s become the biggest jerkoff and quite frankly you could say he’s the most hated athlete in pro sports… Rightfully so, we can talk about all those things but let’s continue with this review. For a long period of time I prevented myself from watching this film in a theatrical setting, HBO Max 30 day exclusive, or even renting it on RedBox. I do not wish to give LeBron any kind of support to help him in anyway, so I remained consistent until that whole window is done to where it’s finally put out on streaming.

The trailers for Space Jam: A New Legacy were tremendously horrendous, that it almost didn’t felt like a real movie at all. I think this film was shot over a week over a summer period, as the trailer did speak for itself as the way it looked visually and the acting… This felt like a recipe for a disaster coming.

Space Jam to me is a perfectly average film, yes it’s silly but it somewhat fulfills on what it was trying to do and that is to make an entertaining basketball movie featuring the Looney Toons and a superstar basketball player. The stakes and rules at hand are pretty simple to follow, the whole Michael Jordan retiring from the game and coming back to basketball to save the Looney Toons was a nice silly plot, followed by an exciting conclusion… It knew what it was and as a result it’s perhaps one of the most likable overrated films by the public eye. So considering I’m not a fan of Space Jam… I can at least have an open mind with this new followup that stars LeBron James this time around. I assumed it was going to be bad… But I didn’t expect a film that could turn out to be the biggest disgrace not only in basketball films but in films in general.

It all starts out with a really bad opening, where young LeBron is told by his mother she can’t come to the game because she’s got work. The way this scene is set up… It just goes straight to “Bron I can’t go, I got work” off the bat, as it was just so poorly done. Why couldn’t we develop a scene where LeBron is happily playing basketball at his front/back yard, as he and his mother drives to the gym where LeBron is so happy to play today’s game where his mother can come watch him, as THEN she breaks the news to him?! The opening shot should not just be this confrontation, you got to make the audience feel some kind of emotion to the way LeBron feels disappointment about his mother not coming to the game.

So it looks like the whole theme of this film is LeBron easing up on life, as he’s been all about his basketball, winning, and no time at all to have any fun. You have a follow up with the opening as younger LeBron gets told off by his coach playing GameBoy, as he then misses the game winning shot… It was at this very moment that LeBron needs to leave fun to the side and to become overly focused on the game of basketball. You know what’s funny?! As the film then transitions to the poorly edited title introduction, where we are catered to LeBron’s basketball career… The theme in which LeBron needs to remember how to have fun is already wrecked, because in the introduction he’s having fun on InstaGram live and on his commercials… This film can’t even follow through with it’s sorry ass message it’s trying to say, because LEBRON ACTUALLY DOES KNOW HOW TO HAVE FUN. Like what are you talking about?! LeBron though I assume he works hard at the game of basketball, but this man goofs off way more than any all time great, so you can’t really buy into this plot because all you think about is the times where LeBron has fun off the court shouting out TACO TUESDAY or getting Wine Drunk on a daily freaking basis.

The poorly edited introduction is God awful, never mind LeBron’s ego problem but the thing is IT’S EDITED PROPERLY. You have LeBron’s time in Cleveland, then LeBron in Miami, then back to Cleveland winning an MVP… But then it cuts back to LeBron’s announcement of going to Miami?! I can see how this was made in a week, you can’t even properly edit your freaking title introduction of your basketball career in order, did LeBron edited this movie too?! But why in this introduction does LeBron have clips where it doesn’t even consign with basketball at all?! We have a freaking FoxNews moment… WHY IS THIS IN THE INTRODUCTION?! There’s other moments that has nothing to do with his basketball highlight montage, why even have, considering most young children and basketball fans will not understand why’s it’s there in the first place?! We’re like five minutes in and it’s already a mess.

We have LeBron James now a grown man and father, at this very moment he’s mad at his son Dom (Cedric Joe) because he’s not all focused on basketball. LeBron is pretty pissed at the idea Dom would much rather work on developing a video game, than be all about the game. Here we have another problem trying to secure the LeBron needs to remember how to have fun ordeal… The problem is all centered around Dom. You see: Dom doesn’t just play video games just for fun, the man is actually putting in work into creating a game of his own, to where he can indeed profit off it if it’s successful. So technically Dom is not being just a regular kid playing video games just the sake of being a kid and having fun playing video games, he’s actually trying to make a living off it and actually work… So how can LeBron be pissed at Dom?! He’s not playing video games just to play video games, he’s actually trying to make a career off it and work at it… Now you’re in deep trouble trying to develop that sorry ass message you were trying to develop, because it’s wrecked completely, there’s no point to it all it doesn’t make any sense.

When I’m watching the first 10 minutes of this movie, I can’t help to think that LeBron should’ve watched the TV show Family Matters, as it could’ve helped his movie a lot. There’s an episode in Family Matters, where Eddie Winslow has tryouts as his father Carl Winslow has him working day and night in order for Eddie to achieve making the team. Eddie grows extremely exhausted mentally and physically, as he decides to quit basketball as he rather be a fun care free kid. At the end of the episode: Carl felt extremely sorry to Eddie for pushing Eddie too hard and realized that whatever he wants to do, he can do it as for right now he should be having fun as a high school teenager who wants to just pursue in high school girls. Would you look at that?! Family Matters did this entire plot first and yet they made it make sense and not have to be so damn complicated to execute it… Now why couldn’t LeBron and his team of writers couldn’t be able to achieve that?! Who knows, but I sure know LeBron is pretty pissed realizing the answer to his problems was Family Matters.

All hell breaks loose where misery is introduced: The conflict that leads to LeBron in Toon World. Al-G (Don Cheadle) is an algorithm of Warner Media, as he wants to be the greatest algorithm ever. In order to do so: Al-G must obtain LeBron’s power since LeBron is the most perfect human being on the planet… I’m assuming LeBron wrote this? Dude’s gotten a worst ego problem than Kanye, at least Kanye backs it up and doesn’t completely look like a jackass. I don’t understand this whole thing… Why does Al-G want this and for what purpose does this even make? What is the goal? I understand he wants to be the best, but for what purpose?! There is so much stupidity going on in this stupid movie, that we’re not even 15 minutes in. Why couldn’t it be just a simple plot to follow along?

It’s time to get to the point where I had a severe melt down. LeBron and Bugs Bunny go through all these Warner Bros properties, as they gather members of Looney Toons to their team, only they’re gonna wreck a lot of films in order to do so. Films such as Mad Max: A Fury Road, The Matrix, Wonder Woman and so forth… Why?! This is not a movie, this is honestly two egos striking forces to create one gigantic commercial of product placement. We understand that fifteen minutes in the film how it’s constructed is not looking to create a plot and message that makes actual sense, the way it’s constructed is just to hope people would buy more LeBron Nike products and to buy more Warner Bros movie tickets, DVD’s, and merch… That’s the movie folks.

As a security guard claims his name tag doesn’t say “LeBron Finder” and “LeBron Locator”... That’s when I say you know what, I give up, I can’t do this anymore. Out of curiosity I fast forward to see how the actual game went. As I fast forward through the clips… The game itself looked about the same as the movie: A MESS! I pressed play as within five seconds, I turned it off and never looked back. The game itself was going to be like Dom’s stupid game, so it technically is not a basketball game at all… It’s just horse shit like everything from this “Creation”

Basketball films are supposed be entertaining… How on earth LeBron couldn’t even achieve this goal is quite astounding as this a flat out disgrace. Say what you want from films like Thunderstruck (Not a fan) or Like Mike: StreetBall, but at least I remember actually have some kind of fun while watching them no matter if it’s bad or the basketball content is super fun. With Space Jam: A New Legacy… There’s nothing fun about this, it’s a just torture fest that LeBron just wants to crucify the art of cinema as a whole. China banned this film from their country, I think America could do a whole lot better as they should ban LeBron from cinema completely. What he did with Space Jam: A New Legacy is unforgivable, from visuals, to “Plot”, to characters, to delivery in messaging, to music and don’t get me started with acting… I better see LeBron win a Razzie. This is the worst thing I’ve ever seen in a good minute, where did 150 million dollars go to by the way?! All to LeBron and nothing else?! Sure looks like it.

Space Jam maybe a ridiculous film, but at least the film had a plot in which you can comprehend with, you understood it to where it can make actual logical sense. No matter how silly it was: It made sense. The only new legacy Space Jam: A New Legacy achieved in was a legacy is which nothing makes any damn sense and everything around is a colossal waste filled dumpster fire. I don’t want to talk about this anymore, this film pisses me off.

Overall, Space Jam: A New Legacy is the worst film I’ve seen this year. I don’t recommend this film, all I recommend is burning LeBron jerseys. -Mitch Smietana

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