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Mortal Kombat; This Franchise Is Complete Stupidity At It’s Finest. Grade: D-

Mortal Kombat tells a story about an MMA fighter Cole Young (Lewis Tan), who gets his ass kicked by another fighter, however gets complimented by some random dude about his Dragon birth mark. It appears Cole Young's Dragon birth mark indicates, that he is the chosen one, to keep Earth secure from those in the dark realm. Cole Young then encounters Sub Zero (Joe Taslim), who is in full control of ice and such, as Sub Zero is trying to murder Cole Young. Sub Zero wants to kill Cole Young, to prevent Cole and many others from competing in a "tournament", where they can secure earth from being destroyed, as perhaps Sub Zero and many others are trying to break the rules... Even though rules are never present. Witness Cole Young and many others, train, secure powers out of the blue, and try to defeat these evil bastards to secure Earth from being destroyed.

For the last 11 days, I've partaken in Mortal Kombat films (Mortal Kombat (1995), Mortal Kombat: Annihilation, and Mortal Kombat (2021)). I gotta tell ya... This has been an extremely miserable experience. Mortal Kombat (1995) for a compliment, follows the rules within the tournament, to where it can be comprehendible and easily followed... For the first round at least. After that the film decides to do whatever it wants and make absolutely no damn sense. Speaking of a film that makes no damn sense: How about Mortal Kombat: Annihilation, in which I had to shut off early because I couldn't take it anymore?! I can see why it has made an appearance as a hilariousity from Chris Stuckmann, or has been in discussion as the worst film ever made... That film reeks of misery.

Here we are with the reboot or remake whatever the hell you want to call it: Mortal Kombat (2021). What has it improved compare to the likes of the past films?! For starters: I think the opening was actually fine. Let's excuse the disgusting blood sequences that look entirely fake and just look at the opening on it's own... It's a fairly done setup, it provides tension and suspense, so going forward you're at least interested to see what happens next. The Score is a major improvement, compared to the horrors of the God awful theme music, that plays over and over again. I did enjoy that one simple frightening beat, where the music goes "DUNNNNNNNNN" every time Sub Zero comes on and about. Which that's about it for me.

If there is going to be another Mortal Kombat after this, which more than likely they will for some reason... This will be the last that I'll watch and of course review. The Mortal Kombat experience can be described as one word: Exhausting. The level of stupidity in these films drive me absolutely nuts, like even some action sequences are not enough to excuse of how tremendously awful these films are. Martin Scorsese called Marvel Films Theme Parks, what can you call Mortal Kombat films?! Perhaps attending your friend's child's birthday party at a ball pit maybe?! Where it's suppose to be fun, however it's freaking torture?! Though Mortal Kombat (2021) perhaps is somewhat of an improvement, it's still at the end of the day a piece of shit.

Let's get down to the meat and potatoes of the main issue regarding all these films: "The Tournament". Every single film, they talk about this major tournament, where basically the good guys compete against the bad guys, in order to help secure the safety of Earth. However: This make believe Tournament is non existent in all of these films, even in the first ever film it's shown briefly then it just becomes non existent for whatever reason. If you're going to bring up an important tournament, that's suppose to be the driving point of the plot of your story... THEN WHY DON'T YOU ESTABLISH IT?! Every time I'm watching these films, including this one, I question what's the point in bringing up a tournament if there's no freaking tournament ever happening?! "They won 9 times in a row, we can't let them win 10." REALLY?!!? SINCE WHEN, THEY HAVEN’T COMPLETED ONE TOURNAMENT IN THE ENTIRE EXISTENCE OF THIS STUPID FRANCHISE?! I would much rather prefer, if they just ditch the tournament thing completely where you don't drive the audience nuts and just have a free for all to the death. That's basically what this is, so why don't you just do that?! Don't bring up the damn tournament ever again, for the love of God.

Why is it a problem to establish a proper constructed tournament, with rules?! Like seriously, is everyone a moron?! All you gotta do is "Alright everyone, we got a tournament right here, so and so faces so and so, round by round, winner take all, you have a couple days till it starts. Couple days?! We can't be ready to compete in a couple days, we gotta train! Too bad: A Couple Days, be ready to lose your souls and earth, muhahahaha." Like is that hard?!

The characters receiving their powers... Oh boy. Rather than rightfully earning your powers, through hard work through training, learning your inner strengths and improving on your weaknesses, as you discover your true potential as you rightfully earn the powers. This film just grants these characters powers just because... There's not much of a reason behind why these characters are granted powers, it just happens. Cole Young received his powers by getting ass kicked by a large orge and wannabe Cyborg was granted large metal muscles just because he couldn't lift something. At least Sonya Blade (Jessica McNamee) was given powers because she defeated someone with powers, on her own without any assistance. But the other two... "Who cares, give them powers!!! MAKE MOVIE FUN!!!"

So Death is a pure illusion in this film. It doesn't matter if you get killed by someone, because at the end of the day... You'll find your way back just because. Wannabe Cyborg had his arms ripped off and was tossed off a parking lot, landing on the ground as his head was covered with blood. Oh no Wannabe Cyborg you’re dead, that's one less person to try and compete with the evil people, now what?! What's that?! You mean to tell me Wannabe Cyborg is going to return back to life just cause he can?! I mean at the finale of the film, one character rose from the dead decades maybe centuries ago, as he came back to life just because... None of it makes any damn sense and also, why should I care about anybody dying in this film, if death is non existent in this stupid world?! Seriously: There's no reason to care if a good guy or a bad guy is killed, because chances of them reviving from the dead are likely in their favor, so there is no point in caring as well as there is no tension at all.

The action sequences are actually extremely dull. The problem is they’re shot as if they are a video game, which makes sense because it's based off a video game, however in a live action world it looks extremely boring. It's all thanks to blood and gore sequences, as you clearly can tell none of the blood looks natural, it's all computerize blood from the likes of a Rated M video game, as it just doesn't do anything for me. How about the comedy in this film?! Every single joke made in this film, is atrocious. I understand this is based off a video game so it's gotta be silly I guess, it just comes out extremely out of place in a story that feels serious in tone. Like the comedic relief sequences, where an Irishman keeps trying to crack jokes was just unbearable to sit through, as the only reaction I can have it just a blank dead face, just shut the hell up! None of the acting was good, I'll say it's a step up from the previous Mortal Kombat films, but that's just it.

We can discuss more about the many logic issues this film has and the entire Mortal Kombat world has, but what's the point?! These films are entirely pointless, where they lack the simplest logic, as their excuse is it's suppose to be a mindless action film. I enjoy mindless action films, but not to the point where they make no sense at all, to the point where they can't even construct a simple storyline that makes at least some kind of sense, to where you can follow along and have fun. This film is complete torture like the rest of them, just a bunch of nonsense.

Overall, Mortal Kombat (2021) is utter garbage. I don't recommend this film at all, I don't ever want to hear about Mortal Kombat ever again, unless I see a arcade machine then I'll happy to discuss it, but these films are an embarrassment to film. I did indeed skipped the theaters for this one and watched in on HBO Max. I understand I'm against streaming over the theatrical experience, but after the first two being completely torture for me, I decided to give myself a breather... But in the end I was gasping for air, waiting for this torture fest to stop choking me to death, thank God I will never partake in this load of crap ever again. -Mitch Smietana

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