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Morbius (Bonus: Screen X); Grade: D

Morbius tells a story about a bio chemist named Michael Morbius (Jared Leto) whom has a rare blood condition, ever since he was a small boy. Michael has done many wonders with blood, in fact he created an artificial blood using bat blood that has helped impacted a lot of lives. Michael then went on to create some new formula, in which could help cure him and his buddy from the good ole orphanage days Milo (Matt Smith). The formula in some way works as it has helped Michael endure strength, in which he has never felt more alive than ever in his entire life. However there is one catch: He turns into some kind of vampire creature, as in order to keep himself going, he’s going to have to consume blood. Feast your eyes on Morbius, the next great legend from Marvel has arrived… Well at least that’s what the poster says.

I had 0 desire to see this film, so I took this opportunity to try out a new grand way to experience cinema. My theater has a new cinematic format called Screen X, in which you can basically watch a film in a 270 degree panoramic viewing, as you get to experience a much more vivid experience in your viewing pleasure as it expands upon the walls in your theater screening. I think the whole selling point is to consume more out of your feature film, as there are certain visual areas that are expanded in which you don’t normally see in a regular viewing. A regular ticket to see a film in Screen X in my theater is $17, but because I have Regal Unlimited I got to only pay about $4… So you can see why I gave it a try, especially to test it out towards a film I have 0 desire in seeing as well.

My experience with Screen X… Nothing special. I feel there was a moment or two, where I can see why someone would like to experience a film in this format. There is a sequence or two where I actually did see the moral purpose of why this would come across as value, as I did get more out of my visual experience seeing more of the characters body. However the main issue with Screen X for me is the entire film is not in Screen X. I believe there was a total count of 6-8 scenes where the entire film was shown in this particular format, as the rest of the film was mostly shown in a regular theater format. Like why would anyone want to spend money experiencing this film in this format, if the entire film is not shown in this format from start to finish?! It kind of feels like your robbed in a way, as even the sequences when they were shown are by no means ground breaking whatsoever.

I honestly would not recommend seeing a film in Screen X, it’s not worth the outrageous full admission price as it felt like a scam in a way. Like I can see why I was the only person in the theater, like it’s just way too much money for a theatrical experience that is just about the same as a regular viewing experience.

Onto Morbius… Well if you’ve been keeping up with all the feedback from the audience or the critic reviews, it almost feels as if you’re experiencing a broken record at this point. I had no desire to see this film because considering what we’ve received out of Venom, you can almost guaranteed what kind of quality you’re going to get with a film like this. With that being said: This film is B A D.

My main complaint with this film and the Venom films: How come these villain origin stories are handled extremely terrible?! Like these characters are supposed to be villains in which are supposed to be set up, to eventually fight off against Spider-Man because they are bad and Spider-Man is good. So why are these characters treated as they come off as the protagonists?! If we’re setting them up to be villains, then why aren’t they villains?! I mean the end credit scene is ridiculously baffling because none of this makes any logical sense. Like how is this exactly going to escalate where they eventually meet up with Spider-Man and they have a toe to toe battle?! Is Spider-Man going to be that same dip shit sissy from No Way Home and just play patty cake with these villains?! I can’t take this level of stupidity these films are on, they’re equivalent to today’s politicians trying to normalize psychopaths as “Harmless Good Civilians” whom are misunderstood.

Morbius was very inconsistent in terms of tone. Morbius for a good amount of run time is treated as this very dark and serious vampire movie, then out of nowhere it attempts at trying to be a goofy Marvel film comparable to the tone of Venom. I’ll least say Venom is consistent with tone as it never tries to take itself seriously, more so with the sequel in this case. But with this film… It’s just odd at one moment Morbius is seriously training to tame his powers and body, meanwhile you have Milo acting like a dingus doing a clothing montage, making silly faces.

If you enjoyed clips from the trailer, hoping to capture those “Epic” sequences of experiencing Vulture (Michael Keaton) and Morbius making a Venom joke… You’re going to be very disappointed, as the film tricks viewers by giving their hopes up to endure these “Epic” sequences, only to find out they were mostly cut. The Venom joke especially was oddly confusing why that was cut, because the scene without the punchline joke comes off very awkward.

It’s really hard to pin point what exactly does this film actually does well. I mean the characters were terrible, the way this film is shot looks bland, the score was boring, the editing was atrocious especially those cringeworthy slow mo action effect sequences, performances were meh, the story… Formulaic, basic, outdated, unspecial. It feels kind of a waste to go into detail of everything I have problems with this film because not only have you heard it about thirty damn times from others, but more importantly this film isn’t even worth discussing because it’s another dumb comic book movie that NOBODY wanted in the first place. 75 million dollars?! We could’ve helped a good five to seven competent film makers dreams come true with that money, original stories in which NEED to be told… But no lets waste it on another piece of shit comic book movie, like we don’t got enough of these already.

Overall, Morbius is bad, other than the unintentional funny moments this film is just a grand waste of time and energy. I don’t recommend this film, invest your money in films you need to see more of instead. -Mitch Smietana

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