Dora and the Lost City of Gold Doesn’t Butcher Your Childhood, But is Still Meh Grade: C-

Source: IMDB

It's finally here, the summer movie event of the entire summer is FINALLY here at last. Is it Marvel, DC, Disney?! No it's: Nickelodeons... DORA AND THE LOST CITY OF GOLD. It tells an epic tale, of Dora (Isabela Moner) wanting to explore the Island of Gold with her parents.... PARAPATA! But Dora's parents thought her best interests would be to move to California, so she can go to high school with her cousin Diego (Jeff Whalberg), as she can live a normal life as a teenage girl and make friends... JUST CAUSE! But during a field trip, Dora and her pals get kidnapped, but then rescued by Dora's parents friend Alejandro (Eugenio Derbez), as they travel through the jungle to find Dora's parents. I grew up with the cartoon show, as due to the fact Pokemon: Detective Pikachu delivered for me in humorous ways, I thought the same could happen with Dora... Eh, I felt disappointed with this one. There are a few things I did like about this film. Some set pieces looked neat. The booby trap, with the water rising up was cool. The entire third act, where PARAPATA is taken place was fun. I did enjoy this one moment, where the characters go through flowers at night, as when they touched one of the flowers... They sprayed acid in the air, as the characters saw visuals of themselves as the cartoon... It paid homage to the original show, as that was nice. Isabela Moner actually does a good job as Dora, despite how ridiculous she looked in the promo pictures, trailers, and even in this film.. I believed she was Dora, so that's a nice compliment. The way Isabela Moner takes on this role, she actually takes an over the top silly approach towards it. I'm happy she didn't take it so seriously, as she had fun with this character, as I was impressed she delivered. Besides Isabela's performance as Dora, I actually admired the plot twist in this film, it actually made the film better and it was clever. I actually liked the closing song and dance number, for some odd reason it felt sweet to me, looked like the cast had fun with that scene. Now here comes the negatives. Majority of the acting is painfully awful, besides Isabela, there's not a single other performance worth mentioning. Jeff Whalberg is mis-casted as Diego, the way he approached this character made me not believe he was Diego. Poor line delivery as well. He's an unlikable character too, all he does is whine how Dora is embarrassing, how hard high school is, just crying and complaining every other five minutes, he's a wimp. I liked Eugenio in How to be a Latin Lover, but the last two films I've seen him in, he's becoming to be irritating at this point. Like he's obnoxious in this film, I guess that's how he displays his comedic style, it's just bad. When his character cries... It's embarrassing how bad of an actor he is. Speaking of an terrible attempt in crying: Michael Pena and Eva Longoria... Oh wow their final scene SUCKED. Both of them felt like a phoned in performance as well, they just show up a couple times, then leave with a paycheck. I didn't like the voice acting for Swiper and Boots, nothing against Del Toro and Trejo they get a hall pass, they're mis-casted in this film. When I think of Swiper I hear a dork, when I think of Boots I think of a jolly happy sounding voice... NONE OF THESE HAVE THAT. I hated the child acting Dora and Diego younger years... I apologize for being mean, but they're just terrible. So the story of this film is below mediocrity. I didn't like the approach, of Dora starting a new life at high school, to feel like a normal teenage girl... What the hell is this?! Watered down Mean Girls?! She's in this setting for ten minutes, why not just have the entire film on the jungle?! It's Dora, keep her where she's best suited in. In the beginning of the film, Dora attempts a jump, where she falls from a far distance as she took a pretty deep fall. You know when you take a fall like that, a broken bone usually is the outcome... Nope Dora is aye ok, no sprain or nothing. If Dora doesn't majorly hurt herself, what is the point in sending her to school?! So what, she fell and didn't get hurt, she must've done this in the jungle a THOUSAND TIMES! How about having a traumatic experience, exploring with her pops, as Dora almost gotten killed by a wild animal, as exploring doesn't feel right with her father no more for Dora’s safety. It would work better than "Oh dear, Dora fell and didn't get hurt... SEND HER TO AMERICA TO BE A NORMAL KID!" Dora having Raves explained by her father, but not actually explaining the actual things to be concern about while attending raves. Ya know being offered drugs and sexual harassment? Why doesn't he at least tell her about the dangers of drugs?! I don't care if it's a kids movie, kids should be at least taught drugs are bad and you shouldn't do them. I mean Dora mentioned she may die at one point, so yeah it's not that big of a deal to expose the danger of drugs while attending Raves. Before the plot twist concurs, the film is just boring. A flat comedy, mixed with barely any adventure, with a side plot of Diego could be attracted to the biggest brat in school... Yawn. So earlier in the film, it was established that Dora understood Boots, when no one else can. So why in the third act, when Boots talked, Dora got surprised?! The scene makes no damn sense. There's a quite a few incidences, where things that happen in this film make no sense. I feel the film did at least got Dora's personality done right and the look of Boots... The rest of the film, doesn't capture the charm and the fun personality of the cartoon. It's fine for kids, but for adults it's just whatever for them. I'm just disappointed because I wanted to have fun, I wanted to laugh, I wanted to have a good time, instead... It's just meh. Overall, Dora and the Lost City of Gold is mediocre. I don't recommend this film, unless you're a parent then wait till rental to watch it with your kid. One last thing to say... PARAPATA!!!! -Mitch Smietana