Dolittle I mean... At Least it was an Experience? Grade: D
Source: IMDB
The originality of film in 2020 continues on a hot streak with the third remake of Dr. Dolittle... Why?! Dolittle tells a story of Dr. John Dolittle (Robert Downey Jr.) messing around with a gorilla, playing chess using mice as chess pieces, while making monkey noises... Oh No. His services is called upon by a couple small children, to help the sick queen. Dr. Dolittle must go on a journey to find the magical fruit, to help cure the queen of her illness.. Hmmmmm, a plant that cures peoples illnesses?! I never heard of that before... *Cough* *Cough* Anacondas: The Hunt for the Blood Orchid *Cough*. So the best question available to ask is why did I watch this film?! I couldn't make anything better use of my time on a Saturday night? I guess I watched this just to experience what a complete travesty looks like on the big screen, while I can share with you guys. Yes I don't think this movie is any good at all, but I can tell you one thing... It's definitely an experience unlike no other. The film takes the recycled story we've seen many times before, as it transforms into an experience you can only have your jaw and eyes wide open, as you can't believe what is in front of you. The film starts with Dolittle playing chess with a gorilla, as he's making unusual monkey noises. I can only laugh my ass off as I just couldn't believe what is going on. Then we see a couple kids visit his home, as they seek for his services to help a tiny squirrel.. Which then becomes an extremely annoying comedic relief nobody asked for, throughout the film. What shocks me in the beginning is Robert Downey Jr.'s accent... What is that?! Why is he talking like that? Sometimes I don't believe it's him talking, I believe it's dubbed over... Were there any acid in my Raisinets?! What's going on here?! Then we see Dolittle making the most lamest animal jokes that is so old, it's like watching an early 2000's comedy. Like how Dolittle is talking to a dog and how he likes butts, or how the octopus randomly inks because that's what an octopus does. Every time an animal speaks, you don't believe any of it because none of the animals are real and the voice over doesn't quite match up with their personality. The weirdest animal by far is the Polar Bear one... Does the film know Polar Bears need to be in a cold climate?! It's simple animal logic and somehow this film thinks a Polar Bear can be perfectly comfortable in this warm tropical setting. Then we have a young lad who wants to be like Dolittle and thinks because he can make good animal noises, that he can understand the animals... None of this makes any sense, but the film wants you to believe this little kid can talk to animals by perfecting noises. What is an incredible achievement is the fact Dolittle hopes that this kid won't make the jump on his ship, as he wants him to die... I get that Dolittle likes animals over human beings... But one that is loved and is inspired by his appearance, as he hopes he dies... Dolittle is a mad man! Then we come across Dolittle's father in law which is played by Antonio Banderas. Now I can understand where Downey's accent is coming from: It's just an Antonio Banderas impression... What does Antonio's voice have to do with Dr. Dolittle?! The dragon scene... I don't have to say more, watch it yourself. Dolittle can be in the same category as Wish Upon,The Kissing Booth, The Fanatic just to name a few... Bad movies that you are simply amazed by how their existence came about, as you can't take your eyes off what your watching. Sure Dolittle is not a good movie by any means and is certainly not a guilty pleasure by any means... But I gotta say: That was something. Overall, Dolittle is just bad. I don't recommend this film, just watch the other three movies I mentioned earlier you'll have a much better time than this complete joke. In the wise words of Dolittle's enemy: "You Sad Misguided Nut"... A metaphor dedicated to The Russo Brothers, whom cried that Robert Downey Jr. deserves an Oscar for Iron Man in Avengers: EndGame... BOOM ROASTED. -Mitch Smietana